Assalm Alekum . Please give me sugeastion to help me in one major problem of my life which is making me sick and depressed. I am married since 10 years but there are always conflicts between me and my husband i alwaya tried to adjust and compromise but the problem increases. I have 2 kids one of my kids is a disabled child and i have to look after her alone . My husband does not cooperate me . And because of my disabled child i cant mange my routine well as i try and my husband is always angry with me on small things . And leavea to talk to me for many weeks . I become much depressed but i cant do anything. I dont want to leave him as i have kids but temporay if i go back to my country for some years as there i can arrange any helper for my special child because here o cant fo anything cause of the behavior of my husband . Is it permitted for a woman to live in such a way or it is not permitted? I will live there with my maternal uncle and his family for some years and after that i will come back and will come here in the vacattions of my child.I have talked so many timea with my husband about our relationahip and to improve it but his behavior is good only for one or two days and after this again he feela little things and leave to talk me . He wants perfection from my side and does not forgive for small things but doesnot want to change himself.pkease reply me JazakAllah khair

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and messenger.

First of all, we ask Allaah to relieve you of your anxiety and remove your distress. The most important thing we recommend you to do is to adhere to patience as it gives you relief at times of affliction. For more information on the virtue of patience, please refer to Fatwa 83577.

Also, you should supplicate Allaah to enable your husband to regain his senses, and enable both of you to achieve understanding and harmony.

On the other hand, the husband is enjoined in Islam to have a good marital relation with his wife. We have already clarified this with the relevant evidence in Fataawa 86618 and 88304.

If a husband holds his wife to account for every mistake, even insignificant, then this is contrary to having a good marital relationship with her. Verily, in the Messenger of Allaah we have the best example for good conduct and character. It was narrated that Anas said: "I served the Prophet for ten years and he never said to me “Uff!” (a minor word of displeasure) or “Why did you do such-and-such?” or “Why did you not do such-and-such?” [Muslim]

If this was his attitude with a boy who served him, how about his wife whom he took by virtue of the covenant of Allaah and whose private parts are lawful for him by the word of Allaah? Anas also narrated: While the Prophet was in the house of one of his wives, one of the Mothers of the Believers (i.e. one of his wives) sent a meal in a dish. The wife at whose house the Prophet was, struck the hand of the servant, causing the dish to fall and break. The Prophet gathered the broken pieces of the dish and then started to collect on them the food which had been in the dish and said, "Your mother (my wife) felt jealous." Then he held a servant until an (unbroken) dish was brought from the wife at whose house he was. He gave the unbroken dish to the wife whose dish had been broken and kept the broken one at the house where it had been broken. [Al-Bukhari]

Look at this! It is a big mistake (on the part of his angry wife); however, the Prophet dealt with it calmly, without being violent or insulting.

Therefore, the husband should help his wife in housework, especially in your case as you are taking care of your physically challenged daughter. Indeed, the Prophet used to help his wives in housework as underlined in Fatwa 88319.

Besides, some scholars stated that if a wife has the same social status like other women whose husbands provide them with a servant, then the husband is obliged to provide her with a servant according to his ability.

Based on that, we hope that you will have an understanding with your husband. You should do so in a good manner and you may seek the help of his relatives and friends who most likely can influence him and to whom he may listen, if this action might achieve an interest.

However, it is not permissible for you to travel to your country and leave your husband without his permission, as the wife is obliged to reside wherever her husband resides. For more information, please refer to Fatwa 126469.

Also, how would you know that when you will be staying with your maternal uncle and his family you will feel comfortable and have peace of mind? It might be that after you travel to them, you would wish to return to your husband and reside with him under any circumstances. This happens very often with wives.

Nonetheless, if he gives you permission to travel, then it is permissible for you to travel even if you will stay for a long time.

Allaah Knows best.